So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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