Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
