dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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