can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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