tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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