i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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