i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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