found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
