I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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