i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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