You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My friends, they love my intelligence
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
