It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
