mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
