Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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