You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Actions speak louder than pants.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
