The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
