so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
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I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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