pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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