i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
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Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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