And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
