Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
