he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So much Jack, so little girl.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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