I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
