Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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