i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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