haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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