i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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