I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
