one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
