My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
How external is "for external use only"?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
