escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
