bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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