i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I believe in your delicious
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
