Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
