Define "chronic" masturbator.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He has the fingertips of a God
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