I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
