my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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