??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize