I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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