she looked like the bat from fern gully.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Vodka?
Forever.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
