Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
