he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
