Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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