We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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