you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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