Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
