Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
