FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize