I CAN MOONWALK!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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