hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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