So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
