On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
