i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
