Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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