There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize